This has
been a huge part of my life growing up and even now. Some people just have to
have something to gripe about and often time that is aimed at the person who
cares enough to listen. These difficult people seem to want a lot of attention
from you and others and it is sometimes hard to avoid them if not nearly
impossible if it’s a close family member.
So what do
we do? Do we kick them out of our lives and never look back? Christ wouldn’t
and neither should we. As hard as it is sometimes, we are our brother’s keeper.
We are to continue to try to live in harmony and peace with these people
without sacrificing who we are. We have to hold on to our self and fight to not
let them bring the worst out of us by losing our temper, hurting their feelings
or returning insult for insult. We must find more creative ways to spend time
and have conversations with them. It’s hard not to get angry but we must
control our temper because getting angry won’t solve anything.
Hebrews 12:14-15
Make every effort to live in peace
with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
See to it that no one falls short of
the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile
many.
Romans 12:18-19
If it is possible, as far as it
depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear
friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to
avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Some of the techniques I use are:
Minimize
spending quality time with person
Keep quiet
and only offer short simple responses (it’s hard for person to start argument)
Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you;
you need only to be still.
Ask questions
(to try and get them to see the error of their ways)
When I do
spend time, I try to keep the conversation off our personal feelings and on a
movie we both watched or discuss our favorite TV show or something general
Appear busy
(they will value the time spent with you more)
In my
experiences, these people have no problem talking a lot so just let them go at
it, whether they’re praising themselves or venting about something else. All of
this is IF you want to save the relationship and carry on being in the person’s
life. I use to just want to get away from people like this and not have them in
my life at all but this would be hurtful to them and we’re not supposed to hurt
them back.
Proverbs 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage,
but the wise bring calm in the end.
Also, I try
to bear in mind that these people are hurting or have been hurt by someone or
something happened to them in life and they don’t know how to deal with it.
Unfortunately, until they address their own issues, much won’t change. Just
continue to show love, they will soften, hopefully.
I pray you
find your balance.
;-)
God Bless!
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