Dealing With Difficult or Mean People in Your Life

This has been a huge part of my life growing up and even now. Some people just have to have something to gripe about and often time that is aimed at the person who cares enough to listen. These difficult people seem to want a lot of attention from you and others and it is sometimes hard to avoid them if not nearly impossible if it’s a close family member. 

So what do we do? Do we kick them out of our lives and never look back? Christ wouldn’t and neither should we. As hard as it is sometimes, we are our brother’s keeper. We are to continue to try to live in harmony and peace with these people without sacrificing who we are. We have to hold on to our self and fight to not let them bring the worst out of us by losing our temper, hurting their feelings or returning insult for insult. We must find more creative ways to spend time and have conversations with them. It’s hard not to get angry but we must control our temper because getting angry won’t solve anything.

Hebrews 12:14-15

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Romans 12:18-19

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

Some of the techniques I use are:

Minimize spending quality time with person

Keep quiet and only offer short simple responses (it’s hard for person to start argument) 

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Ask questions (to try and get them to see the error of their ways)

When I do spend time, I try to keep the conversation off our personal feelings and on a movie we both watched or discuss our favorite TV show or something general

Appear busy (they will value the time spent with you more)

In my experiences, these people have no problem talking a lot so just let them go at it, whether they’re praising themselves or venting about something else. All of this is IF you want to save the relationship and carry on being in the person’s life. I use to just want to get away from people like this and not have them in my life at all but this would be hurtful to them and we’re not supposed to hurt them back.

Proverbs 29:11

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.

Also, I try to bear in mind that these people are hurting or have been hurt by someone or something happened to them in life and they don’t know how to deal with it. Unfortunately, until they address their own issues, much won’t change. Just continue to show love, they will soften, hopefully.

 

I pray you find your balance.

;-)

God Bless!

Christian Movies

There is a serious lack of main stream christian movies out there which is why I had so much fun seeing God's Not Dead and Heaven is For Real in the theater with my church family. It's out on DVD today if you want to own it today or rent it. I would like to have a collection of quality christian movies one day in my video collection. Here's some recent ones I've enjoyed for your viewing pleasure:


Heaven Is For Real is also a book:

Kindle version:

Read it on your Kindle Fire HD 7", HD Display, Wi-Fi, 8 GB
or Kindle Fire HDX 7", HDX Display, Wi-Fi and 4G LTE, 16 GB

Escapism

For many years I’ve been doing this. At first, I didn’t realize I was doing it but even so, my life has been made up of trying to run away from my own thoughts and memories. For a long time music was all I had to dive into. When I got my first computer, it was a remarkable asset to my depressed state of mind. It kept me from thinking about my history, those I’ve lost and the current hurts and disappointments of my life. I spent day and night on that computer until I almost fell off the chair, only then would I go to bed. I didn’t want to take time to fall asleep. I had to be exhausted so I would be too tired to think before I fell asleep or had too much time to analyze this and that. Even now with twitter, Facebook, YouTube and all, there is even more to fall into. I’m still on an odd sleeping schedule but things aren’t as bad as they use to be by far. I once had many favorite celebrities. It was better to follow their lives than my own. I was living in darkness. At some point, I read the bible but didn’t have anyone to help me understand or ask questions. I had no church to go to. I’d visit one or two here or there throughout the years but none captured my interest in becoming a part of or visiting regularly. They would always disappoint me somehow. Church goers can be so judgmental and dismissive. It’s hypocritical, but it’s true. For years, I thought it was okay not to go to church, not to be baptized or even read the bible as long as I believe Jesus is Savior, that is enough. I told myself this for years and it’s even written in the bible. I kept having this nagging feeling that I am supposed to be baptized so I was at odds agreeing and disagreeing with myself. 

Finally, I let God speak to me. I was trying my best without even being conscious of it to block Him out. It was instilled in me by the Holy Spirit what I was to do. I got myself baptized, joined a church but that didn’t last long. It was one of those big churches where people show up dressed all fancy. My family and I didn’t dress like that ever so we stood out. Mind you, we were wearing decent and clean clothing but soon we got bombarded with people trying to give us clothes. Needless to say it made us feel uncomfortable. We left the church. Years later we moved to the West Coast and now I’ve found my footing. I found a small church where people care about you and not about the way you dress. It’s composed of various families and it’s a good place to be. The pastor and his wife are wonderful and welcoming people. I’ve been going for more than two years to this same church and bible study for the first time in my life and it feels good! We need to be around other Christians to ease our loneliness and to communicate with like-minded people. We need someone chosen by God to lead us like a good pastor or priest. It is of the utmost importance to read your bible because there God will speak to you also. 

With God, I beat my severe depression and I can escape into him and be comforted. God can bring calm to a racing heart. He can bring light to a dark soul. Give it a try. Read your bible regularly and listen to your heart. There you will find clarity. Escape into God. This is my prayer for all who read this. Whatever your escape is, drugs, alcohol, sex, self-harm or something else, take it to God Almighty. He can heal you if you’re open to it. God Bless you.